Cat – astrophe asked:

“I disagree vehemently with what you say, but I will fight for your right to say it”.

I do, and I believe it is the essence of freedom. So why are people trying to silence opposing viewpoints? (Limbaugh, etc.)

I disagree with lots of people in the media, but I firmly believe that everyone has the right (so far) to speak their minds. Is this a dangerous trend? and how far do you think it will go?

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Robin Foote asked:


An alcoholic can be helped to find freedom from alcohol. And, anyone can help who has some counseling or interviewing ability.

There are Two Main Signs of Alcoholism

Alcoholics suffer from an illness that stops them seeing their real condition (denial) and a tolerance to alcohol that keeps them drinking beyond safe levels (loss of control).

Denial of the Effect of Alcohol

Everyone uses denial. It is a normal subconscious way to carry out day to day activities without annoying interference. To illustrate; Stop for a minute and listen to the sounds around you. More than likely you will hear sounds that you were not aware of previously. If you listened to these sounds constantly you would probably get an overload of noise and may not be able to carry out your normal duties.

But denial does not just occur. It grows over time and may be so deeply ingrained in the subconscious that it is no longer a decision to deny anything.

In the noise example from above; denial begins as simple avoidance and minimizing of noises around you. You build up a resistance, a second nature of denial of interfering noises by blocking out more and more. After awhile you are not aware that you are blocking out anything.

Alcoholics are no different. They just block out another form of annoyance, the amount they drink and the effect of their drinking. And, again it starts out in small ways and builds over time.

Unfortunately for alcoholics their denial is contributing to the damage done by alcohol.

Loss of Control of Alcohol

Recent research suggests that alcoholics are born with a genetic variation that encourages them to drink. Males with alcoholic fathers need more alcohol to satisfy them than their non-afflicted peers. They need to drink more to get the same affect as males without an alcoholic father.

Additionally, alcoholics develop changes at the cellular level in the brain. These changes actually demand more alcohol be consumed and fed through these altered cells. In a similar way that we all experience hunger for food and our bodies demand more food. Alcoholics have an extra demand for alcohol.

So we have two aspects making an alcoholic drink more alcohol. There is the genetic demand for more and a change in the brain cells demanding more.

Loss of Control plus Denial of Effects

An alcoholic has slowly built up a subconscious defense about how much is drunk and the effect it is having. And, the alcoholic body demands more in the two ways discussed above.

One would imagine that in these circumstances an alcoholic is doomed to oblivion. Many do continue to the ultimate oblivion.

But, alcoholics can be helped – in the right circumstances. And they can be helped early in the progression of the disease to avoid serious trouble, or the ultimate oblivion.

A Window of Opportunity

Problem drinkers and alcoholics will eventually create a problem for themselves, or with other people, or a legal problem, or problems at work – sometimes affecting all these areas at the same time.

When this happens the drinker may be feeling emotional pain and may be in a ‘window of opportunity’ for listening to someone who cares, who really wants to help, and who can help.

Watch for these ‘windows’.

Anyone Can Help

If you care and can see the suffering of the drinker you have what it takes to help a problem drinker. You may be a loved one, a family member, a friend, a work mate or a healthcare professional.

With a little help from experienced people you will learn the particular action needed to enable anyone to see the reality of their problem and help them take action to solve the problem.

Helping Plan

Over the past 65 years healthcare workers have been trying out many types of counseling and helping plans for alcohol abuse. Some action programs have stood out as being consistently successful in getting alcoholics into recovery.

In these programs alcoholics are taken through a specific set of steps to highlight the effects that alcohol is having on their lives.

Disturb Denial

This process disturbs alcoholic denial and motivates the person to want to take action.

Motivation and Action Plan

But, more than motivation is needed. The alcoholic needs to know what to do and also support to carry out an action plan.

A successful plan includes putting the alcoholic in touch with other recovering people immediately they make a decision that they have a real problem.

Family and Friends of Alcoholics

A similar interview style may also be applied to family and friends who may be suffering from the effects of a loved ones drinking. They too may need disturbance of their own denial and a workable action plan.

Compassion and Empathy

The person applying such a program needs to have compassion and empathy for the alcoholic. An understanding of the inner pain and remorse they are suffering is essential.

If you can, try to identify someone who can help. Doctors, counselors and psychologists are a good starting point. Or, if you are so inclined, get the training yourself.

Be ready for the next ‘window of opportunity’. When you see one approaching gently offer to put them in touch with the helper. If you have gained the necessary knowledge you will know what to do.

Robin Foote, BA, NCAC, TSF.

www.BriefTSF.com

Copyright © Robin J Foote 2005. This article may be copied and freely distributed providing the link to www.BriefTSF.com is maintained.



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Michael Porteous asked:


If you find yourself going back again and again to your computer to consistently surf for **** in ever more increasing variety and you cannot seem to stop yourself you probably have an internet **** addiction. Some may continue to think there is no issue with this as you are not hurting anyone but the truth of the matter is you could be hurting your relationships with your family, partner or future partners because of this behavior that is slowly warping your mind with unrealistic expectations of yourself and others along with the huge amount of time wasted in front of a screen. You can however stop **** addiction if you choose to but beware, if you are not serious about stopping behaviors that are damaging your life then you will gain nothing from this article, if you genuinely want to change your life for the better then there are a few things you can do right now to help!

1. Eliminate **** From Your Computer

Do it now … do not worry I wont go anywhere but if you cannot delete all your bookmarks, all the **** on your hard drive and any you might have backed up then you will never be free of your addiction. Ok … have you done it? If your PC is now free of **** and links to pornography then you have taken a step closer to freedom, there is nothing dirty or smutty now on your machine it is a clean slate as should be your mind as you enter into a pact with yourself to give up ****. Also, if you have any **** site subscriptions cancel them now!

2. Get A Site Blocker

There are many programs out there that control what you browse and lock out undesirable content, usually it is to protect children which may be a good idea if you have kids but for you this could be a way to stop the ease of access to online pornography that makes it so addictive and easy to get a hold of. While you can always disable it the extra hurdle this places will often stop you from subconsciously looking up adult entertainment when you really are trying to quit.

3. Do Some Research

One of the most disturbing trends with **** is how it degrades women and when someone becomes addicted to such entertainment their entire view of women and *** becomes unrealistically skewed making men think of women as *** objects and this coupled with someone who may also suffer from low self esteem and rejection issues may come to **** women. The truth is very different but when all your information about women comes from the men oriented *** industry then that is what you subconsciously learn. If you do admit you have a problem with **** or you know someone who does do some research into what women think about *** and men in today’s world, go to women’s sites and get informed about the truth of the matter. Not only will this expand your world view it may counteract some of the damage that too much **** may have done to your view about the opposite *** and this in turn can really turn you off **** as an outlet for sexual desire when you see the damage it can do.

These 3 tips to stop **** addiction are just a start and only the third suggestion is really on the path to finding a long term solution. This is because at its core this sort of addiction is a psychological issue caused by some factors in a person life that vary from person to person but most commonly occur from poor self esteem or an ingrained low opinion of women from other sources. Unfortunately there is no easy cookie cutter method to eliminate **** addiction from a person because everyone’s issues are so different so a personalized approach targeting the root causes of why you came to have the addiction is the only real way to get results.



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David Roppo asked:


Well, before I reveal the answer to that question let’s review what I like to call the addiction equation. Family dysfunctions causing emotional pain + low level of self-esteem and emotional coping skills + learned addictive behavior from surroundings, friends, and/ or family = ADDICTION!  Take note, that the emotional pain caused by family dysfunctions such as abuse, control, part-time parenting, and rejection is the root cause or catalyst. However, if one is subjected to those patterns, it is not a forgone conclusion that they will develop an addiction. Certainly, there are some people who experience physical, verbal, sexual abuse, and many other dysfunctional patterns that manage to lead perfectly, healthy, happy lives which are free of addiction. And, I would also venture to say that many of those same people have been subjected to examples of addictive behavior by their friends and/or family as well! So, why do these individuals opt “to just say no?” The answer is a high level of self-esteem and coping skills. If you can deal effectively with dysfunctional behavior by speaking your will and liberating yourself from it, then there really isn’t a need to numb emotional pain that doesn’t exist!

Now, at this point in the juncture, you’re probably wondering how you can increase your level of coping skills, so let’s break it down. First, we need to define the word cope. Cope; to deal successfully with a difficult problem or situation. Therefore, increasing your coping skills translates into improving your ability to deal with a difficult problem. But, what exactly does it mean to deal with a problem successfully? As a hypothetical example, let’s say that you have suffered from a verbally abusive parent. To deal with that particular situation successfully, would you  just ignore their comments and try to brush them aside (avoid confrontation,) or would you put a stop to the abuse by speaking your will and saying “I’m not going to take it anymore,” in a calm confident manner of course. If it’s the former, that’s not going to get the job done because you are still, in essence, undermining your self-respect by allowing such behavior – whether you ignore it or not. Remember, addiction recovery requires empowerment. Therefore, the later is the appropriate response. When faced with the above types of dysfunctional situation most people experience a separation of the mind and heart. In other words, when the heart dominates we live with the illusion that it’s our family and it’s ok for them to subject us to abuse and mistreatment. When the mind dominates, we make emotion our enemy, and we become consumed with the fear of internal and emotional growth which results in low self-esteem and self-blame. This can result in and endless cycle of mentally wanting to change but fearing it emotionally. Hence, the addiction trap begins! Therefore, if you want to free yourself from addiction your going to have to liberate yourself from dysfunctional behavior and empower yourself to grow spiritually and emotionally.

Regards,

David Roppo

The Addiction Freedom coach

For more information on how to overcome your addiction or how to stop drinking subscribe to my free 40 page e-guides below………

overcoming addiction

how to stop drinking

stop drinking alcohol

 



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